My best friend really hurt me and I know I’m supposed to forgive her, but I honestly don’t want to. What am I supposed to do?

It sounds deeply painful to be hurt by someone you trusted, and it makes sense that forgiveness feels impossible right now. You do not have to pretend that what happened was acceptable or rush yourself into feeling peaceful before you are ready.

In Christian faith, forgiveness is not the same as denying the wound, excusing harmful behavior, or immediately restoring trust. It is a gradual decision to place justice in God’s hands rather than letting resentment control your heart. You can forgive while still naming what happened, setting boundaries, and allowing trust to be rebuilt only through consistent change. Scripture holds both truth and mercy together in Matthew 18:15-17 and Colossians 3:12-13.

For today, you could take two small steps:

• Tell God honestly what you feel, without polishing your words. A prayer such as, “God, I am hurt and I do not want to forgive yet. Please hold me while I heal, and keep bitterness from owning me,” is already a sincere beginning.
• Write down what was done, what you need in order to feel safe, and what boundary would protect you. You might choose to pause contact, speak with her when you are calmer, or ask for an acknowledgment and changed behavior before rebuilding closeness.

Forgiveness can begin as a willingness to become willing, not as an emotion you can force today. Romans 12:19 reminds you that you do not have to carry the burden of personal vengeance, and Psalm 34:18 assures you that God is near to the brokenhearted. You are allowed to heal slowly, and God can lead you toward freedom without asking you to call the harm good. You are not failing God because you are wounded; even this honest place can become the beginning of healing.